needy Letters left on kitchen counters Mother's asking why you're down It's automatic You've done nothing wrong Kill the clutch and run on empty Don't have much to say just let me Write another stupid song You've done nothing wrong But can you give me a second when you've got one? Can you shatter this silence with a shotgun? Can you admit for a minute that we had fun? Can you pretend that you wanted to meet me? When you left me you made it look easy There's things i need but don't call me needy Alice said she saw you laughing with our friends i can't help asking What is there to laugh about right now? I said i'm glad to see you smiling But recently I started lying I've been bad and thirsty since the drought And what is there to laugh about right now? Can we cut out the cold conversations I've had enough of your pity and patience Way to spit on a situation Can you let me get on with my writing? Such a subtle and sad silver lining Hex with my words and claim i'm not violent August nights 5 o'clock light And drawing out the last goodbye You make a move and make me cry Now make your bed it's time to lie And leave me here to fossilise I'll freeze beneath November skies You watch the life drain from my eyes You want your freedom, that's the price You can keep our vinyl and our bed Let me keep my dignity instead I'd rather sleep on sorry splintered floor I'd rather never sleep than ask for more You can rewrite every single song You can be the one to prove me wrong God i'm getting tired of being strong Are you getting tired of getting gone?
family business Feels like I want you to hurt me Feels like your hand on my throat Lie on my back feeling dirty My mum thinks I'm coming home Feels like I said I won't stay here Feels like you know that I will Feels like you're always complaining Except when I'm lying still And then I'm falling to pieces And then you're cleaning me up And then I'm talking to Jesus He says 'I think you're a slut' And then I stare at your father And he just called your mother a bitch I take a knife made for butter And I carve my pain in his lips You're out here raising a kid You should know better than this So you're the reason that he's watching me bleed He's digging in his fingernails, soaking through the sheets Stitching up my wounds, calling me pathetic I can't help but think that it's somewhat genetic Oh daddy's little solider's got me begging for peace Got me working with bullets, says i'm earning my keep I see it's just a family business I'd blame you but your daddy did this Not gonna paint you the victim I know you know what you've done It's sorta slightly sadistic That killing me is your kind of fun He'd help you bury the body Drive until you reached Illinois And then he'd pay off the jury And then he'd say "that's my boy" So you're the reason that he's watching me bleed He's digging in his fingernails, soaking through the sheets Stitching up my wounds, calling me pathetic I can't help but think that it's somewhat genetic Oh daddy's little solider's got me begging for peace Got me working with bullets, says i'm earning my keep I see it's just a family business I'd blame you but your daddy Gave you hand me downs "Make your family proud You're gonna be a man and this is how" Modern history Let me plant the seed "This is how my son's supposed to be Making sure he clones right into me" Oh daddy's little solider's got me begging for peace Got me working with bullets, says i'm earning my keep I see it's just a family business I'd blame you but your daddy did this So you're the reason that he's watching me bleed He's digging in his fingernails, soaking through the sheets Stitching up my wounds, calling me pathetic I can't help but think that it's somewhat genetic Oh daddy's little solider's got me begging for peace Got me working with bullets, says i'm earning my keep I see it's just a family business I'd blame you but your daddy did this
Fig tree (good girl) I moved to the city for a magazine I met a man who's twice my age He said he would help me if i could help him He said he'd get me that front page I told him i'm 19, he said "you're a baby I graduated before you were alive" When we got to his hotel And took off his clothes, well That's when he called me baby one more time And then he called me baby all through the night Well I was growing a fig tree in the city And the figs were growing old I was heavy and hungry And hanging above me Were the dreams that i'd been sold I could live in the country with someone that loves me Christmas, kids and cherry pie Or i could stare at the branches Insist i'm an artist Stubbornly watching my figs die But i'm a good girl You take me home your dad says "Buddy I like her" I please and thank and say "I'm happy with either" Later I lie there It's your world Just say I'm a good girl I wanna be empty And I want you to forget that you ever met me I wanna love a man before I turn twenty I wanna be envied and emptied Don't let me down gently I wanna be buried I wanna be sleeping there forever under bedsheets I want you to cry into my coffin baby bless me I wanna be I wanna be I wanna be I wanna be crueler and kinder And bigger and lighter And louder and quiet Not so undecided And younger and wiser And sober and higher And humble and clever Oh then i'll feel better Oh crueler and kinder And bigger and lighter And louder and quiet Not so undecided And younger and wiser And sober and higher And humble and clever Oh then i'll feel better Oh then i'll feel better Then i'll feel better Oh humble and clever Oh then i'll feel like I'm a good girl You take me home your mum says "Honey I like her" I please and thank and say "I'm happy with either" Later I lie there It's your world Just say i'm a good girl I wanna be empty I want you to forget that you ever met me I wanna love a man before I turn twenty I wanna be envied and emptied Don't let me down gently
forever The drains at the station can't handle the flood I'm wading through pavements Too set in my ways too give up And the train that I make my escape on Had better still come Oh It better still come I've been paralysed here for the last 20 years I've been planning a life in my head without changing the gears Lost the feeling in all of my fingers From reeling and writing it down I'm crawling and choking and learning to breathe A baby who cries for whatever she needs Suitcases filled with potential and greed Tell me I'm clever I'll be forever I'm shy and I'm staring And starting to scream I get what I want or I'm making a scene I don't wanna know if it's not about me Light as a feather I'll be forever 18 I'll be forever 18 Might just live with my parents as long as I can Think I'd trade independence To eat from the palm of their hands And the bed that I make everyday It won't fit in a van I won't sit in a van I'm eternally walking the same way to school Making eyes with the teachers But none of them know me at all And the buses have all broken down But I'm sticking around Why am I still around? I'm crawling and choking and learning to breathe A baby who cries for whatever she needs Suitcases filled with potential and greed Tell me I'm clever I'll be forever I'm shy and I'm staring And starting to scream I get what I want or I'm making a scene I don't wanna know if its not about me Light as a feather I'll be forever Tell me I'm better than everyone now I swore that I wouldn't get left in this town When my skin is weathered And my mind is measured Will I live forever? Can I live forever? Oh tell me I'm better than everyone now I swore that I wouldn't get left in this town When my skin is weathered And my mind is measured Will I live forever? Can I live forever? I'm crawling and choking and learning to breathe A baby who cries for whatever she needs Suitcases filled with potential and greed Tell me I'm clever I'll be forever I'm shy and I'm staring And starting to scream I get what I want or I'm making a scene I don't wanna know if its not about me Light as a feather I'll be forever 18 I'll be forever
You stay, i'll go 10 years from now I'll be sitting pretty in my country house You'll be sitting somewhere I don't think about Just another tally on my bodycount I'll keep it down Questions that'll come up Push them underground Play the politician baby dance around God i'm so much better when i'm out of town You're sweet to me Sorry that I've labelled you as history Used to pride myself on all my empathy But somewhere down the line i switched up mentally I tried to be Everything you wanted call me plasticine Ended up the villain in your fever dream Hate that that's the person that you see in me But i had to leave How were you so cool throughout our house just burning down? Ashes on the ground you didn't try to put it out love God i'm sweating If i leave does that make me a coward? Now there's a stranger in my room She's telling me she lives here too I smash the glass and climb straight through This love is cold my blood is blue You know you're the girl I always wrote Now you're just a lump stuck in my throat Yeah we were the scenic journey home Now you're just a blister on my sole Please don't ask me questions I don't know No I cannot see us growing old And the bruise was glowing indigo And I knew back then I had to go You know you're the girl I always wrote Now you're just a lump stuck in my throat Yeah we were the scenic journey home Now you're just a blister on my sole Please don't ask me questions I don't know No I cannot see us growing old And the bruise was glowing indigo And I knew back then I had to
Marie Making you food while you're making me cry Shut off the bulb I want firelight Say you hate my face so I feel something Drag me back to the wine and dine We wouldn't sleep til a quarter to five Scary how it's all come down to nothing So why are we here? Why aren't we leaving? It's cruel but it's clear We've both given up on believing And I don't need you I just love you If you don't like that Well you don't have to 'Cause i don't need you It's been lovely But i can read you And you don't love me So i don't need you Make up the bed while you make up a lie Break up at breakfast Wanna hit you but I'm holding a knife So I choke it 'til my knuckles are white Take a bath and I'll take you back Hour and a half for you to clean up your act You dropped your gun on the ground You're just a man in towel I've got you all figured out So why are we here? If love ain't the reason We're so insincere And we know the hardest part is the leaving I don't need you I just love you If you don't like that Well you don't have to 'Cause I don't need you It's been lovely But I can read you And you don't love me So I don't need you "Umm, yeah I don't really know what else to say about it I just thought I wouldn't care as much like after it happen i was kind of Like after we broke up I was busy with summer and everything And like with my friends all the time and then I think once everyone had gone back to Uni It just sort of hit me because I would've spent all that time with you When I was by myself at all And then you've gone and made this whole new friendship group and got so many friends And you're seeing this girl who doesn't really seem like me Which I don't know if it makes it worse or better" Go to sleep and if you wake up to a body that's not mine I guess I wondered off in dreams to find a meaning to this life Left my shoes at home, last minute hope I'd feel something I might just end up skin and bone At least I won't be walking home tonight I bit the bullet barely noticed but I broke all my front teeth I'll never smile again then i'll pretend that i'm still 17 Now I'm part of something smaller than I ever thought I'd be And I'm pretty sure I love you But i'm pretty sure that love's not all I need "Umm, yeah it's just a lot to take in That is just how I'm feeling and that is you know Honesty hour Yeah, I don't know"
tangled Talk to the stranger who lives in your body Not much to say bet she thinks badly of me I drove an hour and a half out of habit Then spent the whole evening assessing the damage Hate cancelling plans so we cried at the concert There’s salt on my hands and red wine on your collar Tonight we’re just fans of a band singing indie But I feel a sickness developing in me Consciously standing a metre apart We can’t be trusted alone in the dark The man on the stage keeps on singing about you And I’d do the same thing but I’m not allowed to I’m not a painter no I’m used to scrawling Just look at the state of the line that I’m drawing Try to forget all the times we were tangled Starting again we decay and dismantle Something’s changing Mind erasing Something’s changing Try the forget all the times we were tangled Mind erasing Starting again we decay and dismantle
lungs take off your shoes it’s getting late and you’re the reason i don’t sleep willing to give more than i take i’m just a secret that you keep and getting weaker now you’ve figured out you’ve got a hold on me i’d risk my life drive late at night it if meant sleeping skin to skin you’d turn away, back to my face but i’d be grateful that i’m in the bed of somebody who tolerates my company there must be something wrong with me to settle so uncomfortably take my lungs tie them up that still wouldn’t hurt as much as when he lies there hand in my hair then says “of course it isn’t love” laughs then goes “i thought you’d know” but that’s a pretty fucked up joke anyone would wonder home but that would mean being alone i’d rather lie there i’d rather lie there and laugh until i cry there Video games I never play But you’ve been practicing for Years Rewatch the films you know I hate I’m certain I could disappear You wouldn’t feel a thing It’s strange to think you asked me to be here I’d rearrange entire days Just on the off chance that you’re free To lead me on in other ways I shouldn’t make it so easy We used to talk for weeks But talking lost it’s novelty The devil lies on top of me I’d rather that than nobody take my lungs tie them up that still wouldn’t hurt as much as when he lies there hand in my hair then says “don’t go falling in love” Force a smile “of course I won’t” but that’s a pretty fucked up joke anyone would wander home but that would mean being alone i’d rather lie there i’d rather laugh until i cry there tired eyes i see where this is going it’s too late to drive my weakness is showing don’t act so surprised just one more night honestly the hardest part of all of this is watching me becoming all the things i said i’d never be oh honestly
edge of 19 It’s in the evenings, long nights Try and imagine me healing, dog bites Fingers and thumbs started bleeding, song write You’re bored of all of my feelings, don’t lie All of these branches breaking Figuring out it’s a chance worth taking I don’t know how but he’s gone, forsaken Say it out loud what a mess i’m making I watch films that i don’t like Just to see life through their eyes I’m obsessed with being nice I never take my own advice Anyone know who I am? Feel myself changing for a man Unlearn the back of my own hand I’m on the edge of 19 Sat on the edge of my seat Reading romantic novels and pretending she's me I’ll give you free therapy Just give me your company I’m exhausted and weak Full of words I don’t speak Born in the autumn Falling down with the leaves I'm exhausted All this pressure to be so important Play it out on the screen, don't ignore it Changing the bedsheets next week Procrastinating and turning twenty Smile on my face with a glass half empty You know everything but you’ve never met me I’m on the edge of 19 Sat on the edge of my seat Reading romantic novels and pretending she's me I’ll give you free therapy Just give me your company I’m exhausted and weak Full of words I don’t speak I’m a narcissist who hates herself Got a god complex but I feel like hell You say like me now but time will tell I watch films that I don’t like In the hope they’ll stay the night I’m obsessed with being nice I never take my own advice Anyone know who i am? God forbid changing for a man Unlearn the back of my own hand I’m on the edge of 19 Sat on the edge of my seat Reading romantic novels and pretending she's me I’ll give you free therapy Just give me your company I’m exhausted and weak Full of words I don’t speak
apathy i want someone to love me for longer than one night to see them in daylight step in from the sidelines i’m sick of the sidelines i want somebody’s feelings to match how i feel things invest in the real thing save time on the healing i hate all the healing but i let them use my body that’s the only time they want me tell my mumma not to worry i’ll be fine 3am and i’ll come running for some temporary loving tell my friends i’m control but that’s a lie i want long conversations and healthy debates and your hands on my face man i’m loosing my patience wounded and waiting tell me that i look pretty when you’re nowhere near me i see it so clearly can anyone hear me? but i let them use my body that’s the only time they want me tell my mumma not to worry i’ll be fine 3am and i’ll come running for some temporary loving tell my friends i’m control but that’s a lie i’m not home i’m missing clear to see i’m better off alone not with him his apathy is clinging to my bones: indifferent courtesy of boys i used to know: forgiven here we go stay hidden ‘nother round of bullets to my skull you did it take your time in taking what you want i’ll give it tired of feeling everything at once let's kill it but i let them use my body that’s the only time they want me tell my mumma i’m so sorry i’ll be fine 3am and i’ll come running for some temporary loving tell myself i’m in control but that’s a lie
loved out loud you never told your family but mine were there to watch me bleed paper cuts and poetry pull the rug from underneath then blame it on astrology “the stars were out of line you see it’s not my fault you fell for me” lay it out in lowercase you couldn’t say it to my face then join the list of things i hate that merely overcompensate for things i haven’t figured out like how to make somebody proud and why i’m never loved out loud why i’m never loved out loud take back all your compliments your kindness has a consequence don’t think i live by common sense these silent nights have violent ends then come back when i’m on the mend you’ll be alright and i’ll pretend and then i’ll fall in love again and it’s hard to breathe and i hardly sleep and my heart fell off my sleeve will you walk me home? will you break my bones? will i let you leave? sing a song and cue the rain i’ll melt if you just say my name a puddle by the window pane dissolving in your last refrain a victim of the waiting game i feel so old and you’re to blame what a pity what a shame your silence blew the candles out a smokey room a haunted house nothing left to cry about only room for dying now still things i haven’t figured out like how to make somebody proud and why i'm never loved out loud why i'm never loved out loud
ocean sometimes i feel like the ocean a little too deep and no one really knows what i’m like way down If they tried they’d drown 95% undiscovered and that 5% went to a lover who liked what he saw until he got bored but i can feel you diving in i wonder if you’ll sink or swim the salt it seeps into your skin this is where the fear kicks in these things are not taken lightly i understand the unknown is frightening but i’m scared too don’t wanna to hurt you can you feel yourself falling under? the weight of me’s unlike any other and you’ve capsized so close your eyes and give in to my ebb and flow the undercurrent won’t let go the pain it comes in waves you know so hold your breath and take it slow soon we’ll be water under the bridge we’ll make a pact never to speak of this but water has memory so the cycle’s not ending and i can see him diving in i wonder if he'll sink or swim the salt it seeps into his skin this is where the fear kicks in
goodnight Settle down settle down Before you know it you’ll be homebound Dry your eyes dry your eyes Baby try and get some sleep tonight The bedsheets are heavy And dreaming is scary But I believe you’ll make it through the night You and I will make it through the night sun is gone you’re still here that should make you proud my dear you deserve a little time stop your train of thought from running wild the moonlight is tempting she knows what she’s doing but you know she’ll be gone by morning light and i know you should sleep right through the night the bedsheets are heavy and dreaming is scary but i believe you'll make it through the night you and i will make it through the night goodnight